i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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