i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
