a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
