We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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