Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can text with my tongue
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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