it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
