You can't motorboat a personality
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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