i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to make out with him forever
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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