Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
