$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
