Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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