whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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