I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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