So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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