i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
