We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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