dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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