bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
