So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I need moral support for this bender
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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