I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
