Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
