He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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