listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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