we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
