Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
