i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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