i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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