She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
