Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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