oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
