im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And then he peed in my hair
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