Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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