Where is the hickey?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?