Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah