tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.