matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize