Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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