I feel great
I just peed on a car
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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