just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
