I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
