You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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