Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
