Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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