Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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