im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
