My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Edward fifth and chaser hands
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
