I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
