Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
