I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize