i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
