all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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