My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
