don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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