I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
