I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
