the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I could make wine with my vomit
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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