I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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