I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
