with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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