Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
