Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
did i just pee glitter
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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