well you can't waste a boner
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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