I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
